it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
