her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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