It was confusing and full of hummus
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Randomize
