hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think my moral compass just broke
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