The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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