we made out on top of his cat.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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