are you still at the devil's house?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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