you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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