Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
