My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
