Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
