**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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