you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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