We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
its liver damage thursday
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
