she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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