the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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