the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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