I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
