She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
