8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize