Sry I called you an 8
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
