Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
