so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
