Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
