There is no way he is gay with that hair.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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