I'm gonna have a badass scar
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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