sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
