if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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