That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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