I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
