I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
