Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
