Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
