I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
