tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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