and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
