not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
