I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
