My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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