I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
