I look better un-naked...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
