I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
