Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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