She said her name was "party"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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