Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
