Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
i think im in europe. pls send help
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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