How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
