Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
