I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
