I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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