found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
