wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
