marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My liver just broke up with me...
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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