And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
