Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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