remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
this hospital has no fireball
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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