It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
