you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
