I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I enjoy the company of your penis
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
